Certified, housed, hired!

So we're about 6 hours away from my favorite time of year and it's really killing me not to be in Vegas right now. The czechs couldn't tell even tell you madness is upon us. Oh they could tell you who won the last three long distance cross country skiing world cups, but they can't name Kobe Bryant, amazing.

So to kill some time I figured I might as well update all you non-traveling, uncultured, arrogant Americans on my life in Praha. I would have been on here a bit more often, but the demands of settling my life in Prague took precedence. Sorry about that. So since I've been reading American Psycho, we're going to just kind've run through things Brett Easton Ellis style. Try and keep up. Any questions or comments can be asked after we are finished. Ready? Fine, we'll wait. Ok let's go.

I've finished the course with a strong pass. Almost everyone in the course passed, we had a good group. Nick, Pat, and Kenny moved into a place in Prague 2 (New Prague), while Geoff, Mason, and I moved into Prague 1 (Old Prague). We live two blocks from Charles Bridge and around the corner from Old Town Square. It's like living on Bourbon st. in New Orleans. We hold down Prague. Discovered a bar where you climb deeper and deeper into the depths of the earth only to find more bars at the bottom. Huge fire hazard, great place to party. We call it cave bar. Got hired to run a pub crawl for incoming TEFL students. Watched Nick spend 30 minutes berating a woman on a tram for littering. Was told by Nick that I "strike fear and moisture into the hearts of labias everywhere." Found out Czech women cheat on their significant others. Pat puked out of a taxi. Nick, Pat, and Kenny had their taxi pulled over for driving on the tram tracks. I am quickly learning to speak Czenglish, which is basically shitty English. After watching Planet Earth, decided that we 'hunt' like African hunting dogs. Work together, close in, strongest gets the kill, remaining dogs search for more 'food.' Decided Friday is the weekend's Monday. Had a secondhand party. Made friendships, broke them, repaired them, and broke them again. Watched Cara pass out completely on a night tram. Props to Kenny for carrying her. Saw Nick slide down a 200 foot escalator, then saw a Czech man run to him when he hit the ground as if he had died. Got spat on by Olivia like a Jew in Palestine. Found out "Tyson" was AIDS-free. Named our new band Sound Foundation. I'm in charge of the G chords. Replaced all direct objects with Czech beers. For instance, "If you encounter a situation where you're alone with a girl and you don't have a Gambrinus, politely suggest she let you put it in her Budvar. Or opt for you going down on her Krucivice while she sucks your Pilsner. That's the only way to avoid paying for a Staropramen." Saw St. Nicholas church, built in 1257, beautiful. Found out my building was built in the 14th century, hung out on my balcony/rooftop (see attached photo above). Went to the Da Vinci "Museum," complete rip-off. Picked my favorite compound nouns- rock star, garbage man, coin purse. Decided that if I were invisible I would become the face of the war on terrorism by assassinating Osama Bin Laden. Heard Nick tell our Professor Terry "yeah I'll tell you what she likes. She likes the sauce!" Told him he's gone too far. For the 346th time. Inadvertantly taught Czech students about Jesus. Got a J-O-B!

That last one is actually important and deserves its own detailed report. I got hired at a school called IJV. Oddly, Nick got hired there too. Plus I know a few other cool girls that work there. We are guaranteed full time (which is a big deal), have our work permit and visa paid covered, my health insurance and social security covered, transportation pass discount, and get 4 weeks paid vacation! It's a really sweet school. I'm excited. It was the school that we had set our sights on and we're very happy to be working there. I go in for contract negotiations tomorrow, I'm going to ask for a no trade clause.

All in all, everything is really coming together and I'm enjoying it immensely. I can't say enough about how much fun we're having. Great people, great beer, beautiful city, and now a beatiful home and job! Until next time....