I've long accepted the fact that Mr. Mertle (James Earl Jones) from The Sandlot was a liar for saying he played with Babe Ruth when we all know Babe Ruth never played with black players.
However, I now think he may be something worse, much worse. I got on a night tram after a night of drinking when I saw a blind Czech man get on a tram all alone. I wondered to myself "how did he become blind? Probably not a fastball to the eye. Czechs don't play baseball." It was then that it dawned on me: If Mr. Mertle took a fastball to the eye, why is he now blind in both eyes? It doesn't add up. You must then ask yourself "Why did he give up the autographed baseball of the 1927 Yankees for a chewed up Babe Ruth ball?" The answer is obvious. Mr. Mertle isn't blind at all. Mr. Mertle is however, a child molester.
